sorry ass son's of bitches

I recently have discovered that some total asshole has stolen my identity. DO NOT think that you can somehow be protected from this by just being a regular human being. I am as about as regular a human being as there can be, and I was sitting around in my mu-mu eating truffles one morning after watching Regis and Kelly when I received a phone call. Brushing the chocolate off of my sleeve and glancing at the clock for my hourly nap, I was shocked to discover that I still had another 20 minutes before I could get more beauty sleep. So I answered the phone.

That is something I feel quite safe from since I never buy anything. What are they going to collect? I have an excellent credit rating because my wife and I buy just about everything with cash, and those things we do not buy with cash we pay on a regular basis.

This guy was asking me about a check that had my name on it from a Wal-Mart in Jacksonville, Arkansas, to about the approximate value of $1591.41. He was able to verify my address and my driver’s license number. What the hell?