gross

I want to premise this little article with “THIS IS NOT FOR THE SQUEMISH!”

There are a lot of reasons for this statement. Our friends in the SUN wrote a story from Berlin about yet another exotic pet owner being devoured by his beloved pets.

Talking about that Korean War thing that happened a little bit ago, one of the students just hit the nail right on the head:

America helps North Korea.  N. Korea attacks S. Korea.  China helps S. Korea, and Russia has the Bomb.

It's great.  Because, you know, we're helpful.  And North Korea SUCKS.  I mean, they don't even have light bulbs.  What's up with this terrible lack of light bulbs?  Have they been talking to Al Gore again?

And it's nice that the chinks are helping out those chicks in South Korea.  I mean, even the Victoria's Secret people hang their heads in Marketing Shame when they see South Korea.  It's hopeless.  But they're all networked, and the Chinese are networked.  Because, I mean, who does networking better than the People at the Party?

 It's official Larry Birkhead has been identified as the father of late media crack whore Anna Nicole's baby. We can all sleep easy knowing that the identity of that one single sperm cell that managed to fight off all the others in the Darwinian crotch swamp of the drug addled Ms. Smith has been identified. Mr. Birkhead is with little doubt now planing the immanent arrival of his love check, er child to be delivered in the mail as he consults with architects on a massive addition to house the lil meal ticket.

You know, in the three years I lived in England, hung out with the locals, drank in the pub, I never realized that there could be a literal meaning to the term 'pissed'. Sure the beer is a nice golden yellow and the dentistry a bit casual but who would of guessed there was a connection.

Yes it seems a certain British dentist was caught with his pants down (sorry, sometimes I don't have the strength to fight off those puns) urinating in the surgical sink. Now this wouldn't be enough on it's own to do the good doctor in. No, he apparently also cleaned his nails with the picks, treated people without gloves and didn't wash between patients. All this combined could have caused massive health issues in England. Thank God no one goes to the dentist there.