JACKPOT!!!
It's official Larry Birkhead has been identified as the father of late media crack whore Anna Nicole's baby. We can all sleep easy knowing that the identity of that one single sperm cell that managed to fight off all the others in the Darwinian crotch swamp of the drug addled Ms. Smith has been identified. Mr. Birkhead is with little doubt now planing the immanent arrival of his love check, er child to be delivered in the mail as he consults with architects on a massive addition to house the lil meal ticket.
I can't say just how proud I am of my home country when I see things like this actually take up time on the news, in print and in peoples lives. I say it with a tear in my eye that the US must really be doing something right when we have enough time and prosperity that we can actually stand for this sort of mindless crap to be part of our lives. Honestly people in the Sudan wouldn't give this sort of thing the time of day. What with the Janjaweed on your ass where's the time to worry about who was the last one to violate a barely animate hole.
Let's ignore the fact that had she not had a rack large enough to create it's own gravity and the propensity for showing it readily for money, any sexual contact with this woman would mostly likely been treated as rape of the mentally ill instead of the Power Ball Lotto drawing that it has turned into. Instead focus on the fact that this can only seen as a sign that we as a society have arrived at the pinnacle of human achievement. There is nowhere but down to go from here my friend. Just as Larry Birkhead, we as a society have arrived!
Link to After DNA test, Birkhead ruled Smith's baby's dad - CNN.com
Talk about a million dollar
Talk about a million dollar sperm...
<rolling eyes>
http://paperclippings.blogspot.com
Well, there are times where
Well, there are times where you just have to shake your head and say "let them eat cake."
Maybe you are right that we have all become so self-absorbed that it represents a new pinnacle of humanity. Not me. I did everything in my power to avoid reading about this cinematic whore and her unsavory life.
That being said, there is a story in here. Maybe we should call it "The Little Sperm That Could." This brave little sperm, fighting off tons of other little sperms fighting for the right to merge with Smith's little egg, somehow had the sheer tenacity to get the job done. A noble job, considering the soup of chemicals that were in her blood and her decision to screw everything with two legs and a dick.
I see this little sperm having the looks of a tiny Conan the Barbarian slaying its foes and laying claim to the crown after a prolonged and bitter fight.
Nihil est ad omnia parte beatum.
"I see this little sperm
"I see this little sperm having the looks of a tiny Conan the Barbarian..."
With frosted highlights and a bottled tan if the donor is any indicator.
The issue of it is that you haven't avoided this story at all. You've railed about it and talked about how stupid this whole thing is and why does this bimbo get on the news and, and, and .... just like I have. Our society as a whole is bound up in this crap. I made a point of posting on it for the simple fact that it was THE headline story on CNN. That is just wrong. It's one thing if it was on some entertainment site but it's front page stuff. Meanwhile what is that status of the dollar? How many soldiers killed today? Any children murdered? women raped? Who knows, who cares. At least we know what glob of DNA made it through the toxic wasteland of a some drug addled whore's crotch. YIPEE!!!
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