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In 2001, the residents of India began to experience a rain shower. This is nothing new, of course, in a land that regularly gets flooded in the monsoon season. The difference was that this rain was red. Deep red.

I was looking at my calendar today, (and yes, I can read and use a calendar from time to time when I want to see how far behind I am), and it shows that the state elections are right around the corner.

I also notice in my “to do” list the statement: “declare candidacy for Governor of Texas.”

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, there is some powerful hoodoo going on in Malaysia.

Picture this: a woman has several ailments (undisclosed to the curious public) that decides to get some help. That is not unusual by any standard. Said woman then goes to a doctor? No, she goes to a mystic. OK, well,that is a bit unusual to right-thinking people. She then learns that she has been inhabited by evil spirits. In the western world, that is seen as quite unusual. What was the treatment?

The mystic proceeds to “hypnotize” her and then beat the demons out of her with his dick. No, he didn’t hit her with his dick (you perverts); he used it in the time honored method of intercourse. I guess the demons, being internal, had to be beaten by him internally. Not only that, she had to pay $17US per beating.

If ever there was a reason for eugenics.

This girl is _really_ afraid of pickles. Video on IMEEM

Police are hunting a thief who tripped and cut himself on glass from lager bottles as he tried to steal them from a convenience store. The offender went into Costcutter,...

I do so miss England at times...

Nothing smells like trouble more than a mustachioed bike short wearin cop with a big ass gun!

I'm trying some editing now, to see what this give me... it should give me the ability to quote

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Which is nice but you have to do it after the fact it seems...

I can make a list

1. like this
2. and this
3. and this

double return to get out of it...

and some bullets...

• like this
• and this
• and you get the drill

again double return.

I'm going to drag and drop some stuff now...

Previous Posts

So, the shed I ordered arrived. Cool. I gotta get back a couple power saws loaned out to a bud so I can work with them. But there's no point in doing that, if there's nowhere to put them. And the garage is currently being used as "suburban storage space for the basement-less."

So, great!
Then I see all the parts. Oh, holy cowpie.

Now, it's not like I'm a complete loss when it comes to working with my hands. I did, for example, unlike my house's previous owners, actually manage to fix the loose wire on my garage door opener. But let's face it: doing graduate studies in the liberal arts, working leather and felt, and kicking people in the head three days a week, does not automagically qualify you as "good with tools," in stark contrast to my Eagle Scout neighbor, who, since his father is a millworker, grew up learning something about tools besides "okay, Mr. Eleven-Year-Old, you're going to stand here with no CLUE what I'm doing. Every twenty minutes I'm either going to hand you a tool, or ask you for one."

The big news in north Texas today is that we are actually under a "winter storm warning!" Now, for those of you living in, or are from, a northern state, you have to realize something. Down here, the next best thing to sliced bread is a good, healthy panic over a winter storm.

You are going to DIE, DIE, DIE !!!!

It does not mean that there will actually BE much in the way of ice heading our way, it is all in the entertainment value of running to the local 7-Eleven and buying them out of all of their beef jerky, toilet paper, beer and Ding-Dongs "just in case" we have more than 1/8th inch of ice on the road sometime in the next few days. If one were to take the level of excitement over the possibility of a winter disaster that is portrayed by the evening news seriously, you would think that nature is about to totally wipe out humanity in a nuclear winter-style holocaust. This kind of news is SO much better than the recent humdrum of casualties in Iraq and the ceaseless harping on a hunting accident in south Texas that you can practically see the news weather folks wetting their pants in anticipation.

Aww, man, it was great. One lunchtime, one massage, and fifty hot bucks right in my wallet. That's, like, espresso money for the MONTH, babe.

It all started out when I realized just how hot my late-50's Jewish-Princess boss is. You know, the ones with eyebrows like wrinkled raisins, and skin to match, with all her kids bugginer her for the cash she picked up by dumping the hell out of her no-good workaholic lawyer husband? Oh, yeah, man, you know that's where the money's coming from... stressed out bosses I can do evil things to for cash... once a week would pay for my parking, espresso, AND lunch the whole year round... for bosses who will then be less stressed out, making my cushy day gig that much cushier.